T H E  M O V I E  R E P O R T NEW YEAR'S EDITION December 27, 1995 One last MR before the year winds down... M O V I E S NEW RELEASES Four Rooms (R) **         Quite needless to say, I did not enter the first showing of Four Rooms on opening day (Christmas Day) the most unbiased viewer.  Despite the critical drubbing it had received following its lackluster premiere at the Toronto Film Festival, I was eager to see this omnibus anthology comedy written and directed by four different independent directors, two of whom being a couple of my absolute favorites, the incredibly talented (and all-around swell guy) Robert Rodriguez and my namesake, Mr. Brown himself, Quentin Tarantino (Allison Anders and Alexandre Rockwell are the other two).  Instead of fearing the worst, I took my seat in the fairly crowded auditorium willing to give everyone involved the benefit of the doubt.  I'd probably have been better off expecting the worst, for I probably would have enjoyed this slapdash stew of mostly unfunny gags a little more and not have been so utterly disappointed.         The film takes place on New Year's Eve at the Mon Signor Hotel, and bellhop Ted (Tim Roth), the only staffer on duty, provides the only _link_ between the four tales, getting involved in bizarre goings-on in four different rooms.         The first tale is Anders's The Missing Ingredient, about a coven of witches (Valeria Golino, Sammi Davis, Ione Skye, Lili Taylor, and a surprisingly adequate Madonna) who attempt to resurrect their goddess Diana (Amanda deCadenet) with a strange brew (which, coincidentally, was the segment's original _title_).  The final ingredient in their brew is fresh sperm, and they enlist Ted to provide the goods.  Word is that over twenty minutes were cut from the finished film following the Toronto premiere, and a good chunk of that missing footage appears to have been from this story, for, as it stands in its current version, is neither funny nor makes any complete sense. There's no comic payoff at all, and it doesn't really end